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Terpisah berkilo-kilometer jauhnya karena harus hidup berbeda kota, rutinitas yang kita miliki 180 derajat berlainan dari pasangan-pasangan lainnya. Untuk kita, tak ada kemewahan dalam wujud makan bersama setiap malam, atau jalan-jalan menjelajahi tempat baru di akhir pekan. Tak ada pula kalimat sesederhana “Ke bioskop yuk?”, “Besok sibuk, nggak?” atau “Aku demam, nggak bisa keluar kamar. Boleh titip beliin makan siang?”
Jadwal pertemuan kita hanya sekali dalam beberapa bulan — itupun harus didahului rencana yang matang. Tak boleh ada jam temu yang sia-sia karena kesempatan kita bertatap muka tak berlangsung selamanya. Aku jadi terbiasa belajar mendisiplinkan diri. Ah, tak pernah ada hubungan yang membuatku sehemat ini. Tiap pertemuan kita tentu butuh modal, yang tak bisa kukumpulkan jika sembarang menghabiskan uang.
Kedisiplinanku bukan soal uang saja. Namun juga perkara menyelesaikan tugas tepat waktu agar bisa meng-on-kan video call di ponselku dan puas berbicara denganmu. Bagi kita, sesi-sesi video call itu — serta deretan message WhatsApp kita — adalah nyawa. Hal-hal yang begitu remeh bagi ribuan pasangan lainnya.
Namun jujur, tak selamanya aku bisa berpikir baik. Ada saat di mana jarak membuatku cemburu, mencemaskan utuhnya perasaanmu. Kadang lebih mudah bagiku untuk menyerah pada keadaan. Jika bukan karena beberapa hal, mungkin aku tak akan sekuat sekarang.
Aku selalu menyimpan rindu. Hampir apapun kulakukan demi menghabiskan lebih banyak waktu bersamamu.
“LDR itu banyak positifnya, bebas, lo bisa lebih punya me-time. Daripada sama pacar terus, nggak bosen?”
Tentu itu ada benarnya: setelah kita hidup di kota yang berbeda, aku merasakan “suasana baru” dalam hari-hariku. Tak ada janji kencan nanti sore, artinya bebas berkumpul dengan teman-teman sampai larut malam. Tak harus mengantarmu kemana-mana dan menunggumu berbelanja, artinya waktu lebih banyak untukku menyelami hobi yang sempat lama tak kuurus lagi. Pada awalnya, suasana ini memang cukup kunikmati.
Tapi “sisi positif” itu lambat laun terkikis rindu. Mana bisa aku berkonsentrasi pada hobi yang kutekuni jika lebih dari sekali, kau melintas di bayanganku? Aku pun selalu membayangkan: betapa jauh lebih menyenangkannya, jika kursi kosong di sampingku ditumpangi tubuh mungilmu.
Faktanya aku selalu menyimpan rindu. Hampir apapun kulakukan — kau tahu — demi bisa menghabiskan lebih banyak waktu bersamamu.
Ada beberapa hiburanku. Pesan darimu, beserta gambar yang kau kirimkan setiap waktu
Selalu ada pesan manis darimu
Tahukah kau apa yang membuatku tersenyum? Bangun di pagi hari dan melihat lampu LED ponsel Lenovo-ku berkedip ungu. Tanpa melihatnya pun aku tahu, itu pesan darimu.
“Bangun, dong.” Kadang pesanmu sesingkat itu.
“Heeeeey, banguuuun… ayo video call~~” Tapi kadang, ada pula pesan yang kau taburi emoji-emoji lucu. “Percuma punya HP keren gitu kalau nggak dipakai, Sayang.”
“Kupakai main game sama dengerin musik, kok. Bagus, nggak pernah hang. Makasih ya, hahaha.”
“Ah, kamu. Nggak lucu ah… Aku kangen, tahu.”
Percakapan sesederhana itulah yang sanggup menyulam senyum di wajahku. Oh, dan tentu aku masih ingat: ponselku ini hadiah darimu. Kau belikan karena kau tak percaya ponsel usangku bisa kupakai “melawan” jarak bersamamu.
“Lucu ya bentuknya? Tipis, gampang kamu bawa kemana-mana,” kau terlihat ceria. Meski matamu sedikit sembab, bekas menangis malam sebelumnya. “Lenovo A6000. Aku belinya murah kok, hahahaha.”
Diam-diam kucari harganya di internet. Satu juta tiga ratus ribu, temuku. Setara sepersekian gajimu.
“Jangan kamu ilangin ya. Nanti aku kirim fotoku yang banyak, jangan muntah!”
Pagi ini, ada sebuah gambar yang menjadi pesan darimu. Tak butuh waktu downloadterlalu lama sebelum ia muncul di layarku. Foto dirimu, jernih dengan warna yang kaya. Kau terlihat cantik meski tanpa riasan apa-apa.
Ah, betapa kau selalu berusaha ceria. Betapa kau selalu berhasil membuatku berkali-kali jatuh cinta.
Bagaimanapun, aku mesti berlapang dada. Ujian ini adalah demi masa depan kita bersama
Ini hanya untuk sementara
Seperti tadi aku mengaku: aku selalu rindu. Namun aku pun tahu, bukan hubungan yang sehat namanya jika aku tak punya dunia selain dirimu. Itulah yang selalu kuputar di rongga kepala setiap waktu: dalam hari-hari di mana aku merasa rinduku sudah keterlaluan hebatnya. Paling tidak, aku masih punya banyak hal yang bisa kunikmati selagi kau tak ada di sini. Aku pun beruntung, dikelilingi teman-teman sejati.
“Elah, sendirian terus… Apa bedanya kamu sama jomblo kayak kita?”
Aku tertawa saja mendengar lawakan mereka. (Hei, jangan dikira aku tak bisa lagi tertawa!) Kau pun pasti senang mendengar keadaanku relatif baik-baik saja. Aku masih makan dengan lahap, belajar dengan giat, berkumpul dengan teman-teman hingga lupa waktu dan mentari pagi yang mengingatkanku.
Perpisahan ini sementara. Kita lakukan demi masa depan yang lebih baik untuk berdua. Kau selalu berkata, “Aku “meninggalkanmu” bukan untuk bersenang-senang sendiri.” Kau bekerja tanpa lelah, mengejar ambisi. Aku pun berusaha begitu: menyibukkan diri dalam proyek-proyek pribadi serta hobi agar setiap waktuku di sini tak terbuang tanpa arti.
Setiap aku ingin bertemu, kubuka ponselku dan kau akan ada di sana. Meyakinkanku bahwa kita takkan bertekuk lutut pada jarak yang menganga
Apa jadinya jika aku harus mengirim surat setiap rindu?
Setiap rinduku membumbung dan kurasa aku takkan bisa menahannya lagi, aku akan membuka layar ponselku dan di situlah kutemukan dirimu. Kau tersenyum menyapa. Dengan senyummu yang ceria, kau meyakinkanku semua baik-baik saja.
Kadang aku bertanya sendiri: bagaimana bisa orang zaman dulu melalui hubungan jarak jauh mereka? Aku masih beruntung karena hanya tinggal meraih ponselku jika rasa kangen mulai liar. Sedangkan mereka, apa yang bisa diandalkan jika keinginan melepas rindu membakar?
Berjanjilah untuk selalu percaya. Jarak ini bukan apa-apa dibandingkan masa yang sudah menanti kita berdua
Ini hanya sementara. Sebentar, saja
Beratnya hari-hari yang kita lalui saat ini bukannya tanpa balasannya. Andai kita berlapang dada — sedikit lagi saja — pengorbanan kita sekarang tak akan sia-sia. Aku berjanji; dan semoga kau memercayainya.
Ingatkah saat aku dulu pertama kali memintamu menjadi yang ada dalam doaku? Hingga sekarang, aku tak pernah merasa salah telah memilihmu. Kau yang baik hati dan setia. Kau yang sepenuh hati mengejar cita-cita, kau yang selalu ceria. Kau yang membuatku menjadi aku yang seutuhnya.
Jarak kita sekarang bukan apa-apa dibandingkan masa depan yang kita punya bersama. Sebelum terlalu lama, kita akan bertemu lagi. Dan ada saatnya nanti, di masa yang akan datang, aku tidur tak lagi ditemani Lenovo pemberianmu, namun hangatnya tubuhmu. Kita tak akan mengucapkan selamat tinggal — hanya selamat malam.
Sebelum waktu itu tiba, kita harus bahagia dengan apa yang ada. Untuk sekarang, cukup puas dulu dengan handphone di tangan serta doa yang terapal, ya?
Dariku,
Yang setiap pagi menanti pesan baru darimu
(hipwee)
Jadwal pertemuan kita hanya sekali dalam beberapa bulan — itupun harus didahului rencana yang matang. Tak boleh ada jam temu yang sia-sia karena kesempatan kita bertatap muka tak berlangsung selamanya. Aku jadi terbiasa belajar mendisiplinkan diri. Ah, tak pernah ada hubungan yang membuatku sehemat ini. Tiap pertemuan kita tentu butuh modal, yang tak bisa kukumpulkan jika sembarang menghabiskan uang.
Kedisiplinanku bukan soal uang saja. Namun juga perkara menyelesaikan tugas tepat waktu agar bisa meng-on-kan video call di ponselku dan puas berbicara denganmu. Bagi kita, sesi-sesi video call itu — serta deretan message WhatsApp kita — adalah nyawa. Hal-hal yang begitu remeh bagi ribuan pasangan lainnya.
Namun jujur, tak selamanya aku bisa berpikir baik. Ada saat di mana jarak membuatku cemburu, mencemaskan utuhnya perasaanmu. Kadang lebih mudah bagiku untuk menyerah pada keadaan. Jika bukan karena beberapa hal, mungkin aku tak akan sekuat sekarang.
Aku selalu menyimpan rindu. Hampir apapun kulakukan demi menghabiskan lebih banyak waktu bersamamu.
“LDR itu banyak positifnya, bebas, lo bisa lebih punya me-time. Daripada sama pacar terus, nggak bosen?”
Tentu itu ada benarnya: setelah kita hidup di kota yang berbeda, aku merasakan “suasana baru” dalam hari-hariku. Tak ada janji kencan nanti sore, artinya bebas berkumpul dengan teman-teman sampai larut malam. Tak harus mengantarmu kemana-mana dan menunggumu berbelanja, artinya waktu lebih banyak untukku menyelami hobi yang sempat lama tak kuurus lagi. Pada awalnya, suasana ini memang cukup kunikmati.
Tapi “sisi positif” itu lambat laun terkikis rindu. Mana bisa aku berkonsentrasi pada hobi yang kutekuni jika lebih dari sekali, kau melintas di bayanganku? Aku pun selalu membayangkan: betapa jauh lebih menyenangkannya, jika kursi kosong di sampingku ditumpangi tubuh mungilmu.
Faktanya aku selalu menyimpan rindu. Hampir apapun kulakukan — kau tahu — demi bisa menghabiskan lebih banyak waktu bersamamu.
Ada beberapa hiburanku. Pesan darimu, beserta gambar yang kau kirimkan setiap waktu
Selalu ada pesan manis darimu
Tahukah kau apa yang membuatku tersenyum? Bangun di pagi hari dan melihat lampu LED ponsel Lenovo-ku berkedip ungu. Tanpa melihatnya pun aku tahu, itu pesan darimu.
“Bangun, dong.” Kadang pesanmu sesingkat itu.
“Heeeeey, banguuuun… ayo video call~~” Tapi kadang, ada pula pesan yang kau taburi emoji-emoji lucu. “Percuma punya HP keren gitu kalau nggak dipakai, Sayang.”
“Kupakai main game sama dengerin musik, kok. Bagus, nggak pernah hang. Makasih ya, hahaha.”
“Ah, kamu. Nggak lucu ah… Aku kangen, tahu.”
Percakapan sesederhana itulah yang sanggup menyulam senyum di wajahku. Oh, dan tentu aku masih ingat: ponselku ini hadiah darimu. Kau belikan karena kau tak percaya ponsel usangku bisa kupakai “melawan” jarak bersamamu.
“Lucu ya bentuknya? Tipis, gampang kamu bawa kemana-mana,” kau terlihat ceria. Meski matamu sedikit sembab, bekas menangis malam sebelumnya. “Lenovo A6000. Aku belinya murah kok, hahahaha.”
Diam-diam kucari harganya di internet. Satu juta tiga ratus ribu, temuku. Setara sepersekian gajimu.
“Jangan kamu ilangin ya. Nanti aku kirim fotoku yang banyak, jangan muntah!”
Pagi ini, ada sebuah gambar yang menjadi pesan darimu. Tak butuh waktu downloadterlalu lama sebelum ia muncul di layarku. Foto dirimu, jernih dengan warna yang kaya. Kau terlihat cantik meski tanpa riasan apa-apa.
Ah, betapa kau selalu berusaha ceria. Betapa kau selalu berhasil membuatku berkali-kali jatuh cinta.
Bagaimanapun, aku mesti berlapang dada. Ujian ini adalah demi masa depan kita bersama
Ini hanya untuk sementara
Seperti tadi aku mengaku: aku selalu rindu. Namun aku pun tahu, bukan hubungan yang sehat namanya jika aku tak punya dunia selain dirimu. Itulah yang selalu kuputar di rongga kepala setiap waktu: dalam hari-hari di mana aku merasa rinduku sudah keterlaluan hebatnya. Paling tidak, aku masih punya banyak hal yang bisa kunikmati selagi kau tak ada di sini. Aku pun beruntung, dikelilingi teman-teman sejati.
“Elah, sendirian terus… Apa bedanya kamu sama jomblo kayak kita?”
Aku tertawa saja mendengar lawakan mereka. (Hei, jangan dikira aku tak bisa lagi tertawa!) Kau pun pasti senang mendengar keadaanku relatif baik-baik saja. Aku masih makan dengan lahap, belajar dengan giat, berkumpul dengan teman-teman hingga lupa waktu dan mentari pagi yang mengingatkanku.
Perpisahan ini sementara. Kita lakukan demi masa depan yang lebih baik untuk berdua. Kau selalu berkata, “Aku “meninggalkanmu” bukan untuk bersenang-senang sendiri.” Kau bekerja tanpa lelah, mengejar ambisi. Aku pun berusaha begitu: menyibukkan diri dalam proyek-proyek pribadi serta hobi agar setiap waktuku di sini tak terbuang tanpa arti.
Setiap aku ingin bertemu, kubuka ponselku dan kau akan ada di sana. Meyakinkanku bahwa kita takkan bertekuk lutut pada jarak yang menganga
Apa jadinya jika aku harus mengirim surat setiap rindu?
Setiap rinduku membumbung dan kurasa aku takkan bisa menahannya lagi, aku akan membuka layar ponselku dan di situlah kutemukan dirimu. Kau tersenyum menyapa. Dengan senyummu yang ceria, kau meyakinkanku semua baik-baik saja.
Kadang aku bertanya sendiri: bagaimana bisa orang zaman dulu melalui hubungan jarak jauh mereka? Aku masih beruntung karena hanya tinggal meraih ponselku jika rasa kangen mulai liar. Sedangkan mereka, apa yang bisa diandalkan jika keinginan melepas rindu membakar?
Berjanjilah untuk selalu percaya. Jarak ini bukan apa-apa dibandingkan masa yang sudah menanti kita berdua
Ini hanya sementara. Sebentar, saja
Beratnya hari-hari yang kita lalui saat ini bukannya tanpa balasannya. Andai kita berlapang dada — sedikit lagi saja — pengorbanan kita sekarang tak akan sia-sia. Aku berjanji; dan semoga kau memercayainya.
Ingatkah saat aku dulu pertama kali memintamu menjadi yang ada dalam doaku? Hingga sekarang, aku tak pernah merasa salah telah memilihmu. Kau yang baik hati dan setia. Kau yang sepenuh hati mengejar cita-cita, kau yang selalu ceria. Kau yang membuatku menjadi aku yang seutuhnya.
Jarak kita sekarang bukan apa-apa dibandingkan masa depan yang kita punya bersama. Sebelum terlalu lama, kita akan bertemu lagi. Dan ada saatnya nanti, di masa yang akan datang, aku tidur tak lagi ditemani Lenovo pemberianmu, namun hangatnya tubuhmu. Kita tak akan mengucapkan selamat tinggal — hanya selamat malam.
Sebelum waktu itu tiba, kita harus bahagia dengan apa yang ada. Untuk sekarang, cukup puas dulu dengan handphone di tangan serta doa yang terapal, ya?
Dariku,
Yang setiap pagi menanti pesan baru darimu
(hipwee)
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