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Ternyata sebuah perselingkuhan di dalam hubungan Anda dengan pasangan, tidak berarti akhir dari seluruh proses yang telah dijalani.
Sebuah penelitian terbaru US Journal dari Marital dan Family Therapy menunjukkan bahwa 57% laki-laki dan 54% wanita setidaknya pernah melakukan perselingkuhan sebanyak 1 kali.
Bagaimana pun, mengetahui bahwa pasangan Anda berselingkuh pasti akan menghancurkan hidup Anda dan membuat emosi Anda tidak stabil. Di sini Anda diharuskan membuat keputusan. Beberapa hal ini dapat membantu Anda membuat keputusan yang tepat, ketika menemui pasangan Anda berselingkuh. Seperti dilansir dari marieclaire.com, Selasa (5/1/2016).
Haruskah saya bertahan? Atau haruskah saya pergi?
Sebesar apa pun kemarahan Anda dengan pasangan dan bahwa Anda pernah berjanji tidak akan menghabiskan hidup Anda bersama dengan seorang penipu, namun kenyataan bahwa Anda mencintainya tidak bisa dipungkiri. Lalu apa yang terjadi? Bagaimana Anda akan bisa memaafkan pasangan Anda dan membangun kembali kepercayaan Anda? Apakah mungkin untuk kembali pada masa di mana semua hal berjalan baik-baik saja? Kenyataannya adalah itu tidak mungkin terjadi. Jika Anda memutuskan untuk tetap bertahan bersama pasangan Anda, Anda tidak akan mendapatkan suasana hubungan Anda, sebelum terjadinya perselingkuhan. Namun, kabar baiknya adalah hubungan Anda mungkin akan lebih baik dan lebih kuat lagi, daripada yang sebelumnya.
Pertama, bicarakan semuanya
Pertama, bicarakan semuanya
Anda pasti mempunyai banyak pertanyaan kepada pasangan Anda. Tuliskan semuanya, Anda berhak menanyakan setiap detail yang ingin Anda ketahui dan pasangan Anda harus menjawab semuanya. Ini mungkin berlawanan dengan intuisi Anda dan akan sangat menyakitkan. Namun sejujurnya ini menyembuhkan. Sebuah penelitian menyatakan bahwa dari 1.083 suami atau istri yang dikhianati, mendapatkan pasangan yang jujur membuat mereka merasa lebih baik secara emosional dan berdamai dengan lebih baik.
Sebelum Anda bertanya pada pasangan Anda, tanyakan pada diri Anda sendiri, apakah Anda siap untuk mengetahui detail mengenai selingkuhan pasangan Anda? Jika jawabannya adalah iya, maka tanyakan. Namun, Anda tetap harus berhati-hati, detail ini akan membuat Anda lebih sakit hati. Ada baiknya Anda mengatur batasan waktu terlama untuk membicarakan hal ini dengan pasangan Anda, sekitar 15 sampai 30 menit paling lama.
Ingatlah, sembuh dari perselingkuhan bukan hal yang mudah
Ingatlah, sembuh dari perselingkuhan bukan hal yang mudah
Setelah melakukan terapi dan komunikasi Anda dengan pasangan telah membaik, Anda akan merasa lebih baik. Anda akan mengalami momen di mana Anda tidak memikirkan perselingkuhan ini lagi. Namun, ada saatnya Anda tiba-tiba akan mengingatnya kembali dan ingin lari dari pasangan Anda. Rasa sakit yang Anda alami akan terasa segar dan dalam seperti saat pertama kali Anda mengalaminya. Ini merupakan sesuatu yang normal dari sebuah kesedihan. Ingatlah, ini adalah sebuah proses, bukan resep. Bersabarlah dengan diri Anda. Anda mungkin merasa ingin melakukan balas dendam, emosi memang bekerja melalui kebencian.
Jika Anda memilih untuk bertahan, menghukum pasangan Anda akan mengakibatkan hal yang lebih buruk pada hubungan Anda. Perjalanan untuk memaafkan merupakan salah satu yang terpanjang, jadi berbaik hatilah pada diri Anda sendiri. Sesuaikan ini dengan kemampuan Anda. Anda dapat menentukan apa yang penting dalam hubungan Anda. Apa yang Anda perlukan. Apa peraturannya. Sehingga Anda dan pasangan dapat mulai memperbaikinya.
Terakhir, bingkai ulang pola pikir Anda
Terakhir, bingkai ulang pola pikir Anda
Daripada melihat sebuah perselingkuhan sebagai akhir dari hubungan Anda, cobalah untuk berpikir bahwa ini dapat menjadi kelahiran kembali. Berharap bahwa setelah Anda melalui semua ini, Anda akan mendapatkan pengertian yang lebih dalam tentang diri Anda sendiri dan pasangan Anda.
Jadikan ini sebagai kesempatan untuk berkomunikasi dengan teman dan keluarga Anda. Mengikuti sebuah komunitas, di luar hubungan Anda dapat membantu Anda merasa dicintai dan tidak terisolasi. Waktu di mana perselingkuhan ini tidak mengganggu pikiran Anda mungkin terasa mustahil, namun itu harus. Mulailah kencan dengan orang lain. Atur waktu untuk melakukan hal-hal yang menarik bersama.
Jika Anda berkomitmen untuk memperbaiki ini bersama-sama, Anda akan terkejut bagaimana hubungan Anda dan pasangan akan bertambah kuat dan dalam.
Sumber:liputan6.com
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